{"id":2409,"date":"2025-05-26T01:22:11","date_gmt":"2025-05-26T01:22:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/?p=2409"},"modified":"2025-05-26T01:22:14","modified_gmt":"2025-05-26T01:22:14","slug":"how-body-image-baggage-and-shame-affects-the-way-we-feed-our-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/?p=2409","title":{"rendered":"How Body Image Baggage and Shame Affects the Way We Feed Our Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By Audree McIvor, RCC\/CCC \u2022 Momentous Counselling<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Family Shot With Parents And Daughter At Home Having Breakfast Spreading Jam On Bread At Table<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Do words like picky eater, diet, weight gain, body image, or self-esteem bring up memories of your own childhood or your relationship with your parents? For many of us, these words carry emotional weight\u2013feelings we may not even realize we\u2019re holding onto. And without meaning to, those lingering beliefs can shape how we parent today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


As parents, we want our children to have a healthy relationship with food and a positive sense of self. But sometimes, the internal messages we\u2019ve carried from our own upbringing\u2013about control, worth, or appearance\u2013can quietly stand in the way of giving our kids that freedom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


We live in a culture saturated with messages about food, weight, and beauty. From ads to social media trends, the pressure to look or eat a certain way is everywhere. While we try to shield our kids from those harmful influences, the truth is, they often seep into our homes\u2013sometimes through our words, sometimes through our actions. Research shows that parents play a powerful role in shaping how children think about their bodies and their eating habits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


The way we were raised\u2013the comments we heard, the diets we saw, the pressures we felt\u2013doesn\u2019t just stay in the past. It comes with us. It can show up in the way we talk about food, how we serve meals, and even how we react when our kids say they\u2019re full or ask for seconds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


But here\u2019s the good news: with awareness and intention, we can shift these patterns. By recognizing how our own experiences with food, dieting, and body image shape our parenting, we can begin to create a more nurturing, connected, and body-positive environment for our kids. When we take the time to reflect and heal, we open the door to raising children who trust their bodies, enjoy their meals, and grow up feeling good in their own skin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Early Years: The Foundation of Healthy Habits<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n


From an early age, parents are heavily involved in monitoring food choices. For example, decisions about baby-led weaning versus pureed food or how many new foods to introduce at once can be filled with anxiety for parents. These early food journeys can be overwhelming, but it\u2019s important to remember that this is an opportunity to introduce food with joy, connection, and community. Eating together allows children to see that food is nourishment and a source of enjoyment, and it can help them develop a healthy relationship with food from the start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


As children grow, we begin comparing them to growth charts and monitoring their eating habits. This leads to an emphasis on external measurements, which may drown out internal cues about hunger and fullness. The worry about whether our children are eating \u2018enough\u2019 or making \u2018healthy\u2019 choices can subtly reinforce unhealthy messages about food. Parents may inadvertently pass on anxieties about food and body image, leading children to internalize these concerns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


School-Aged Children: Navigating Growth and Independence<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n


In the hustle of busy mornings, meals sometimes become something to \u2018check off the list,\u2019 rather than an opportunity for connection. As our children gain more independence, it\u2019s important to support their ability to make their own food choices. This autonomy allows them to develop a healthier relationship with food as they grow, free from excessive external pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


At school, eating becomes even more social. Lunches and snacks are often consumed with peers, and it\u2019s hard to know exactly what they\u2019re eating or how much. This inconsistency can trigger worries in parents about their child\u2019s eating habits. However, it\u2019s important to remember that a child\u2019s overall intake over the course of the day matters more than what they eat at any given meal. If you\u2019re noticing anxiety about your child\u2019s eating, it\u2019s a good opportunity to reflect and ask yourself: Is this concern truly about my child, or is this my own past experiences and worries resurfacing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Teens and Beyond: Fostering Independence and Self-Expression<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n


In their teen years, meal times become more independent as they spend more time away from home. Hormonal changes, peer pressure, and social influences come into play during these years, which can deeply impact your teen\u2019s self-esteem and body image. You may notice shifts in their mood, eating habits, or the way they talk about themselves. If this happens, it\u2019s important to pause and reflect on your own experiences. Did you feel similar pressures when you were a teen? Do you want to protect your child from those same challenges? This can be a powerful moment to check in with yourself and work through any lingering worries or emotions you may have.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


It\u2019s crucial to create an environment where positive self-talk is encouraged, and healthy behaviours are modeled. By managing your own emotions, you can provide your teen with the support they need to navigate these years with confidence. The opportunity to grow up in an environment free from negative body talk and unrealistic expectations is a gift we can give our children. Of course, if you have concerns about their physical or mental health, don\u2019t hesitate to consult a medical professional.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Cultivating Healthy Family Meals: Habits that Build Connection and Positivity<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n


Let\u2019s explore new habits that can help create a joyful, healthy, and connected eating environment:<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Create Connection:<\/span><\/strong>
\u2022 Make Family Meals a Priority:<\/strong> Aim to share at least five meals a week as a family. This may require a bit of creativity\u2013perhaps eating in the car before soccer practice or having a quick family dinner before a busy evening. The key is to create positive associations with eating together, which can lead to better eating habits and stronger family bonds. Use tools like conversation starters or \u2018would you rather?\u2019 questions to encourage fun discussion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\u2022 Make Cooking Fun Together:<\/strong> Involve your children in meal preparation whenever possible. Cooking as a family can be a fun and educational experience. Whether it\u2019s chopping vegetables, stirring a pot, or setting the table, this is a great opportunity for kids to learn about healthy ingredients, develop kitchen skills, and take pride in the food they\u2019ve helped prepare. It can also serve as a great bonding activity that creates positive associations with meal time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Trust and Autonomy:<\/span><\/strong>
\u2022 Offer Choices, Not Battles:<\/strong> As our children grow, so does their autonomy. Unless there is a medical concern, it\u2019s important to support your child in making their own food choices, trusting them to listen to their bodies. This allows them to develop a healthier relationship with food and body image as they transition into adulthood. If you have a picky eater, try offering new foods when they\u2019re genuinely hungry. Giving children a few healthy options helps them feel more in control of what they eat and introduces them to a variety of flavours. It also encourages the value of making good choices. It\u2019s all about balancing structure with autonomy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\u2022 Snacks for the Win:<\/strong> Growing bodies often need more frequent meals than adults. Healthy snacks can be a great solution. Set up a snack station with wholesome options like fruits, nuts, or veggies, so they can grab something healthy when hunger strikes. This helps ensure they\u2019re getting the nutrition they need to grow and thrive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Practice what You Preach:<\/span><\/strong>
\u2022 Model Body Positivity:<\/strong> Be mindful of the messages you send about body image. When you talk negatively about your own body, whether it\u2019s a \u2018dad bod,\u2019 \u2018mom belly,\u2019 or guilt over eating dessert, your children are likely to internalize those views. Avoid labeling bodies as \u2018good\u2019 or \u2018bad\u2019 and instead focus on promoting body positivity and healthy habits. A helpful tip: Keep a picture of your child on the bathroom mirror as a reminder to speak kindly to yourself and set a positive example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\u2022 Show Yourself Grace:<\/strong> Changing how we relate to food takes time, and it doesn\u2019t have to be perfect. If you\u2019re struggling or holding onto messages from the past, that\u2019s okay. It\u2019s a journey, and giving yourself grace is an important part of it. Take the time to reflect on your experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


\u2022 Work on Yourself:<\/strong> Doing personal healing is a great way to show your kids that your growth isn\u2019t over. Taking time for yourself via therapy, journaling or other self-care is beneficial for you and by extension, your family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n


Building a culture of family-centered eating takes time, but these habits can help transform meal time into enjoyable and meaningful memories. What\u2019s most important is the opportunity to connect with one another, foster healthy habits, and model positivity and love toward food and our bodies.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Audree McIvor (RCC\/CCC) is the co-owner and director of Momentous Counselling<\/a>, where she specializes in trauma, PTSD, and childhood neglect. Based in Kelowna, Audree leads a compassionate and diverse team dedicated to providing comprehensive support for individuals and families. Momentous Counselling offers tailored services for parents, couples, teens, and children ages 5 and up. In addition to personalized therapy, the clinic provides engaging group presentations and virtual sessions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Audree McIvor, RCC\/CCC \u2022 Momentous Counselling Do words like picky eater, diet, weight gain, body image, or self-esteem bring up memories of your own childhood or your relationship with your parents? For many of us, these words carry emotional weight\u2013feelings we may not even realize we\u2019re holding onto. And without meaning to, those lingering … Read More “How Body Image Baggage and Shame Affects the Way We Feed Our Kids”<\/span> »<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2409"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2409"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2409\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2410,"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2409\/revisions\/2410"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2409"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2409"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/okanaganfamilymagazine.ca\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2409"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}