By Ashley Hyndman, M.C. • Mamahood Counselling
Motherhood is beautiful, fulfilling, and life-changing. But it can also be exhausting, relentless, and overwhelming. Some days, it feels like you’re running on fumes–pulled in a hundred directions with nothing left to give. If you’ve ever found yourself snapping at your kids because they spilled a cup of water, feeling numb instead of present while reading them a bedtime story, or waking up just as tired as when you went to bed despite getting a decent night’s sleep, you might be experiencing maternal burnout.
Burnout isn’t just about being tired. It’s a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by chronic stress. It’s feeling like you’ve given every last piece of yourself and there’s nothing left to give.
The good news? Recognizing it is the first step to finding relief.
What Exactly is Maternal Burnout?
Also known as ‘mom burnout,’ maternal burnout develops gradually through the cumulative weight of daily demands. It often starts with small compromises–skipping lunch to handle another load of laundry, staying up late to prepare for tomorrow, or putting off exercise because there’s always something more urgent.
The pressure to be the perfect mom, maintain a spotless home, excel at work, and nurture relationships can create an impossible standard. Many mothers find themselves caught in a cycle of saying ‘yes’ to everyone else’s needs while repeatedly saying ‘no’ to their own.
This constant self-sacrifice, combined with sleep deprivation and limited support, creates a perfect storm for burnout. What might start as occasional overwhelm can evolve into chronic exhaustion when mothers feel trapped in this cycle of endless giving without adequate replenishment.
Signs of Maternal Burnout
Burnout doesn’t happen overnight; it builds over time. Here are some common signs:
• Forgetfulness: You keep missing appointments, can’t remember if you’ve packed everything for school, or find yourself standing in rooms wondering why you went there.
• Chronic Fatigue: Even after sleeping, you wake up exhausted. Your body feels heavy, your muscles ache and simple tasks like showering or getting dressed feel like climbing a mountain.
• Feeling Detached: You’re going through the motions of motherhood without feeling truly present or connected, like zoning out during
playtime, or responding with autopilot answers like ‘uh-huh’.
• Irritability: The smallest things trigger big reactions–your child’s humming, the sound of toys, or simple requests feel overwhelming–causing you to react in ways you later regret.
• Resentfulness: You love your family but find yourself feeling bitter about always being the one who has to handle everything, like scheduling appointments, meal planning, or getting up with the kids at night.
• Heightened Anxiety: You feel on edge, worried, or overwhelmed by even small decisions or tasks. Your mind races, making it hard to relax.
If these signs sound familiar, know that you are not alone. Burnout doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom–it means you need care, too. Think of yourself as a garden that needs regular tending: without proper nourishment, rest, and care, even the most resilient plants begin to wilt. Recognizing burnout is the first step, and small, intentional changes can help you bloom again.
Simple Ways to Recharge (That Don’t Require a Babysitter)
Taking care of yourself doesn’t have to mean a weekend away or an elaborate self-care routine. Here are some simple ways to replenish your energy, even on busy days:
- Micro-Breaks • You don’t need hours to reset–sometimes,
five minutes is enough. Step outside for fresh air, make a warm drink
and sip it slowly, or put on headphones and listen to your favourite song. Small pauses can help calm your nervous system and reset your energy.
2. A Sensory Reset • When your senses are overloaded, your body remains in a constant state of stress, making it harder to relax and recharge. A quick sensory reset can help shift your focus, calm your nervous system, and bring you back to the present moment. Try these simple techniques:
• Run cold water over your hands or splash your face
• Rub scented lotion on your hands and breathe it in deeply
• Wrap yourself in a soft blanket and close your eyes for a moment
• Jump up and down while wiggling your arms and legs
3. Letting Go of ‘Shoulds’ • Some days, the best way to recharge is to drop the guilt and let yourself do the bare minimum. The laundry can wait. The dishes can sit in the sink. Give yourself permission to rest without ‘earning’ it first. Start small–identify one task that doesn’t need your immediate attention–maybe it’s making the beds every morning
or having a perfectly organized playroom–and practice letting them go.
A spotless house isn’t worth the cost of your mental health.
4. Asking for Support • You don’t have to do everything alone.
Ask your partner to handle bedtime routines for three nights a week, ask older kids to sort and fold their own laundry, or ask a friend to help with school pickups occasionally. Accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness–it’s an act of self-care. The goal isn’t just to clear your to-do list–it’s to create mental space that allows you to recharge and feel more present in the moments that matter.
5. Intentional Rest • Rest isn’t just sleep–it’s any moment that restores you, whether that’s reading, stretching, or simply lying down without your mental to-do list. Try scheduling a daily 15-minute ‘tension release’ break during nap time or after lunch to decompress. This isn’t about productivity; it’s about letting your mind and body reset before stress overtakes you.
Breaking Free from Burnout: A Path Forward
The gap between knowing what you need and taking that first step can feel like crossing an ocean. When the dishes tower in the sink and laundry spills from baskets, the thought of taking time for yourself might feel not just impossible, but selfish.
Yet here’s the truth every mother needs to hear: taking care of yourself isn’t selfish–it’s essential.
This is where real courage comes in. Reaching out for help–whether to a therapist, a support group, or a trusted friend–isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a powerful declaration that you deserve to feel whole, not just hold it all together. When you show your children that it’s okay to ask for help, to have limits, to prioritize your wellbeing, you’re teaching them one of life’s most valuable lessons: that self-compassion is as important as compassion for others.
You’ve got this, mama. And on the days when the weight feels too heavy to carry–when you’re counting the hours until bedtime or hiding in the bathroom just to breathe–remember this: your struggles don’t diminish your strength; they prove it. Your worth isn’t measured in folded laundry or home-cooked meals. It’s not found in crossed-off to-do lists or Instagram-
perfect moments. Your worth is inherent, unchangeable, and absolute.
You are more than the tasks you complete, the messes you clean, or the lunches you pack. You are a whole person deserving of rest, joy, and support. So take that step, however small it feels. Reach out. Rest. Breathe. The dishes will wait, but your wellbeing shouldn’t have to. Because when you finally give yourself permission to put down the cape of supermom, you might just discover that being human is the greatest superpower of all.
Ashley Hyndman is a therapist with 13 years of experience who specializes in supporting moms. Through Mamahood Counselling, she helps moms learn to trust themselves, embrace their own version of motherhood, and find confidence in the journey. To learn more or book a session visit mamahoodcounselling.ca.